Second Baby Nerves

My son is almost 10 months old now. And I really want another baby not only for myself and my husband, but so Ian can have a sibling. I have 2 siblings myself and could not imagine my life without them (although I would have been happy with fewer rug burns on my face growing up). So I've started thinking earnestly about the next steps to have baby #2. I even went so far as to make an appointment with my fertility doctor in March (which is when Ian will be 1 year old).

We have 3 frozen embryos and I'm crossing my fingers and hoping beyond hope that one of them will work and give us Baby #2. I'd really love to avoid having to go through another IVF cycle. But in the meantime, my husband and I are having unprotected sex with the idea of "ya never know, right"? Except, I know. It won't work. Hell, I haven't even gotten my period back yet so I'm pretty sure I'm not even ovulating. But stupid me, I have this really small hope. I was feeling nauseous the other day and I was thinking, "What if!" Yah right.

And you know what's even crazier? I was thinking just this morning, "What if my husband's sperm is magically fixed and insurance won't pay for the frozen embryo transfer?" God help us. Then we'd have to create a baby the natural way! My mind wanders back to those months we were trying. All that scheduled sex. All that time spent with my legs up in there air and my ass propped up on a pillow. Peeing on a stick every month and being disappointed. Sadly, I WANT to do this frozen embryo transfer!

Hopefully, as I wean Ian, my cycle will return and we can start thinking about the next pregnancy. It's scary to be going down this road again, but I'm so thankful every single day for Ian. If another child is not in the future for us, I will have to be okay with that. I'm already very very blessed.