No Work Stress

I'm twiddling my thumbs at work, which is not good. I love being busy and active and priding myself on my super-impressive multitasking skills. (Yes, I'm modest.) But instead of drafting 80 page contracts and making inspiring arguments during face-to-face negotiations, I sit here at my desk and worry about how un-busy I am. I'm an attorney at a large law firm and not being busy is stressful. My firm has already laid off a ton of people and even though I got through my year-end review with nothing but positives, I worry. I like my job and want to keep my job. I do not want to try to look for a new job in this economy. I'm sure that work will pick up again. I just hope it is soon. It's not good when you tell the head of your practice group, "I need more work" and his response is "me too."

For the moment, I will watch the snow falling fast and furious outside my window and pride myself on the number of ounces of milk I can pump from my right boob. She never fails me.

Rabbit Pellets

Oh my. Tonight was...ridiculous. As usual, I was feeding Ian some dinner. I was actually pleased with how he was eating given his subsistence feeding lately. And as he was finishing up, he leaned to the side, did a right cheek sneak, started making his "I'm making a poop face," squeezed and turned red. I didn't think too much of this since his daycare sheet said he had already had a "BM" twice today and I figured whatever came out would be a smally patty. So I let him finish eating, wipe his hands and mouth and bring him into his room to change him into his PJs when OH MY GOD, there is poop everywhere. It's on his legs and pants and onesie. So far, this isn't a new experience. We've experienced many poonamis in the 10 months that we've had Ian. But what happened next was new. I peeled off Ian's clothing trying to get as little poo on his little head as possible (and failed). And then I took off his diaper and poop pellets fell out! I was being attacked by the poo pellets! So I yelled for my husband to come in and help. I mean, poo has never FALLEN out of his diaper before! I gathered up as many poo pellets as possible in a fistful of diaper wipes and my husband stepped on the diaper pail to open it up. But as I was dropping my handful of poo into the pail, my husband's foot slipped and the pail promptly closed, knocking my hand and spewing poo pellets against the wall! Sigh. So now I had a shitty baby and a shitty wall to clean! Needless to say, we decided to give Ian a bath tonight. Next time he poops while eating, I will take it more seriously.

First Weekday Morning Workout

After a long wait, my elliptical machine is finally up and running in my basement. I used it on Saturday and Sunday and actually got in a 35 minute workout this morning. Here's how it went down and how I hope it continues to go down: Baby woke up early, around 5:30 am. I nursed him, stuck the paci in his mouth, and put him back down in his crib. Snuggled with hubby until 6 pm. Did my workout and am now eating breakfast. It's just past 7 am and the baby is still sleeping. At some point, he'll wake up and my hubby will take him to daycare around 7:45 am. That leaves me plenty of time to shower and dress myself and catch the 8:40 train to work. Done! Woo!

I plan on alternating between cardio days and days where I just work on my abs and core. As everyone tells me, "you look great!" But it's not enough for me. I don't want to just look great in clothes while sucking in my gut. I want to get back into pre-baby shape. Unfortunately, I'm not sure it's possible. My weight is already at pre-baby weight. My gut? Not so much. But I'll try my hardest and do my best to work on it and if after all of that, I don't achieve my goal, well, then, that will be okay. But a perfectionist has to try, right? (Of course, this will all go to hell if and when I manage to get pregnant again...but that's another battle for another day.)

Happy Monday!

Ian is Standing

At 10 months and 1 week of age, and with a 102 degree fever, Ian is standing on his own. He doesn't stay up for long - maybe 3 to 4 seconds - but he's doing it!

Now, if only he could say "mama" in addition to "dadadadada," "bababbaba" and "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
I have never heard the "em" sound come out of his mouth, but I'm hoping it's around the corner.

I love this boy! Interestingly, the fever is making him mellow. I never thought I'd see my little boy acting mellow and even though I'm sad that it is some virus making him this way, I'm sure loving the snuggles (instead of the twisting, writhing, healthy boy he is normally). :-)

ICLW - Welcome!

And I forgot to say, to all the ICLW participants: Welcome!!! I look forward to meeting all of you. I would love it if you could drop a comment if you read my blog. With the exception of the lovely Meg, who you can find here, I'm not sure anyone actually reads my blog regularly. It would be great to meet you if you do!

Fever - For Realz

Ian is sick. He's had a lot of runny noses since he was 6 months old and I put him into daycare. And he's had one ear infection, which really wasn't terrible (except for the 10 days of the amoxicillin, 3x per day, during which time he really didn't want to eat or nurse). Oh yeah, and one episode of puking (which ended up with both my husband and me puking). But other than that, he's actually been pretty healthy.

But yesterday morning, he was sleeping unusually late and when I finally went to wake him (which I've NEVER had to do), he felt a bit hot. So I took his temperature and it was 101.3 degrees. Daycare's cut off is 101.5 degrees. So I gave him some Tylenol, crossed my fingers, hoped beyond hope that the fever was somehow related to teething (isn't everything related to teething?!) and sent him on his way to daycare. But we didn't get away with it. At 11 am, they called my husband to pick up Ian, who had a 102 degree fever. I left work on the early side and got home around 5:30 pm.

When Ian woke up this morning around 5 am, he was hot. Super hot. Ridiculously hot. We gave him some Motrin and I nursed him (and felt his hot face on my breast) and he went back to sleep. When we finally took his temperature around 7:45 am, it was 102 degrees. Sigh. Definitely not related to teething. So my husband and I both stayed home today so that we could tag-team the baby and both try to get some work done. But of course, neither of us ended up doing any work! As first time parents, we'll learn from this, I'm sure.

Other than the fever and runny nose, Ian seems okay. But he is definitely crabby, needy, Velcro baby that just wants to be held. And we're happy to be here to do that for him. If he still has a fever tomorrow morning, that will be 48 hours with a fever. I'll bring him to the doctor to make sure he doesn't have another ear infection. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping! he doesn't need antibiotics!

Sledding and Face Plants

I ordered a baby sled for Ian and we finally had nice enough weather this past weekend to take him out in it. We have a little hill in our backyard that is the perfect size for him.

He seemed to enjoy himself quite a lot until his sled tipped over and he face planted into the snow.

After that, he was pretty unhappy in the sled, but we got him to smile a couple more times.

All in all, good fun. We'll definitely have to try this again.

Super Awesome Bath Time!

Ian had a big boy bath tonight and had SUCH a good time. Take a look for yourself. This video makes me laugh each time I watch it.

He definitely knows what "Can you say hi?" means. He stops his water frolicking just long enough to give a really quick wave.

10 months old!

Ian is 10 months old today and he's just getting more and more awesome everyday. Since his birthday anniversary fell on a Saturday, we took pictures in our PJs.



I finally captured his "stinky face," which he seems to make when he is concentrating on something or trying to figure out what we said:



It is so amazing and wonderful watching him grow up. I think he'll be taking his first steps soon.

Second Baby Nerves

My son is almost 10 months old now. And I really want another baby not only for myself and my husband, but so Ian can have a sibling. I have 2 siblings myself and could not imagine my life without them (although I would have been happy with fewer rug burns on my face growing up). So I've started thinking earnestly about the next steps to have baby #2. I even went so far as to make an appointment with my fertility doctor in March (which is when Ian will be 1 year old).

We have 3 frozen embryos and I'm crossing my fingers and hoping beyond hope that one of them will work and give us Baby #2. I'd really love to avoid having to go through another IVF cycle. But in the meantime, my husband and I are having unprotected sex with the idea of "ya never know, right"? Except, I know. It won't work. Hell, I haven't even gotten my period back yet so I'm pretty sure I'm not even ovulating. But stupid me, I have this really small hope. I was feeling nauseous the other day and I was thinking, "What if!" Yah right.

And you know what's even crazier? I was thinking just this morning, "What if my husband's sperm is magically fixed and insurance won't pay for the frozen embryo transfer?" God help us. Then we'd have to create a baby the natural way! My mind wanders back to those months we were trying. All that scheduled sex. All that time spent with my legs up in there air and my ass propped up on a pillow. Peeing on a stick every month and being disappointed. Sadly, I WANT to do this frozen embryo transfer!

Hopefully, as I wean Ian, my cycle will return and we can start thinking about the next pregnancy. It's scary to be going down this road again, but I'm so thankful every single day for Ian. If another child is not in the future for us, I will have to be okay with that. I'm already very very blessed.

My Son, the Climber

I picked up Ian from daycare tonight and they said, once again, that my son is very active. They also said that he is "going to be a climber." I sort of already knew that. He loves climbing in and out of his radio flyer wagon. We took the sides off so that he didn't have to hurl himself over them (which he was doing). He will also stand in front of a piece of furniture and lift one of his legs to try to climb it. It's really funny to watch. Unfortunately, it won't be funny when one day I find him on top of our kitchen table.

Ian has been waking up at 4 am every morning for the last 3 weeks or so. He screams his head off and clearly doesn't want to be awake. But I'm loathe to give him the pacifier, which we ditched at night. But last night, he sobbed for so long that we brought him into our bed where he almost immediately calmed down and fell asleep again. But this is NOT a pattern I want to continue. I can't sleep with a snoring husband, let alone a snoring baby. And I really can't sleep when little fingers poke me in the eye or get shoved up my nose. Tonight, we Ferberize again. This kid needs to learn how to sleep through the night!