Tuesday, March 16, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!

My baby is one today. ONE! ONE! ONE!

I am extremely elated to have gotten to this point. My baby is thriving, strong, growing, walking, independent and happy. I have made it to the one-year mark and my baby has NEVER had one drop of formula. I am extremely proud of that. But I'm also feeling quite sad. If I try to dissect the sadness, I think it's because I miss the baby that Ian was. I know that he still needs me. But he needs me in such different ways now. I'm also going to start the weaning process so that I can try to have baby #2 and that is really bringing me down. Breastfeeding was the one thing that no one else could do for my child. He seems to prefer the company of my husband and the daycare providers care for him all week. But only I could nurse. I know that I could keep nursing and focus on Ian and not worry about baby #2. But I know I want another child and I think it will be really great for Ian to have a sibling. And I'm going to be 36 soon and who knows how long it might take to conceive baby #2. So I just don't want to play around here, but man, it makes me really really really sad to stop nursing. I'm in tears as I write this. My only comforts are knowing that I got this far with Ian and I will not have to artificially stop breast-feeding baby #2 ('cause there won't be a baby #3!)

But onto more happy notes, here is my 1 year old! And yes, he has a boo-boo on his chin. Yesterday, he decided to throw a fit at daycare when they weren't spoon-feeding him fast enough. Table 1, Chin 0.


1 comment:

Meg. said...

Happy Birthday, Ian! =D

My gosh, he already looks more mature. His eyebrows are quite manly and dashing. =)

I'm sorry for this sad transition phase you're finding yourself in. I can't even imagine the emotion involved. But just know that one whole year of breast-feeding is a heck of a lot more than most kids get. You should be proud of yourself!