I Guess I Really Was Sliced Open

My exercise classes at the JCC started this week. On Wednesday mornings, I do a class called "Restore the Core" and on Friday mornings, I do a class called "StrollerFit." Both classes are geared towards new mothers and their babies. Before I got pregnant and had Ian, I would have found these classes inordinately easy. But man, being pregnant for 40 weeks (I refuse to say 9 months because women are pregnant for 10 months!) really did a number on my body. And it didn't help that my ab muscles got sliced open just under 7 weeks ago. I could totally feel the incision site when doing certain of the ab exercises. I didn't feel pain, but the incision wasn't letting me forget that I had an emergency C-section on March 16!

So now I sit here on the couch, with a heating pad on my twitching back muscles, whining to myself. Today, as part of the class, we did squats (fine), pushups (fine) and tricep exercises (also fine). But we also ran. Ran! Sometimes we ran with the stroller. Sometimes we ran without it. Either way, it hurt. It didn't hurt my feet, knees, legs or lower back. It SLAUGHTERED my breasts. I was wearing my regular sports bra (which fits correctly only right after I pump) and that just didn't cut it. I didn't have enough support. And I'm pretty sure that I could wear 8 of the sports bras and STILL not have enough support. Apparently, at least one other mother felt the same as me because I noticed that as she was running, she was holding her breasts up with her hands! I really wanted to do the same, but there were children playing at a nearby playground and I didn't want to be the one responsible for scarring them for life. For next week's class, I may have to break out an ace bandage and wrap myself up super tight. Or maybe duct tape will work? Either way, I have to come up with a solution.

Weight at 6 weeks

Just a quick post to record that at 6 weeks of age, Ian weighed 11 pounds, 11 ounces. That means he gained 6 ounces this week.

Here is a photo that was taken by the nurse at our mommy group meeting.

Captain Awesome at 6 weeks!

Being a parent rocks. But being a parent to an awesome child rocks even more! Last night, my 6-week old son slept in his own crib in his own room from 10:30 pm until 6:30 am with only one night-time feed at 3:15 am. How unbelievably cool is that?! And this morning, after I fed him and changed his diaper, he was in crazy "happy baby" mode. What this means is that he is super alert (eyes WIDE open), moving all 4 limbs like mad and cooing. And lately (over the past 1 week), it means that I have seen fleeting glimpses of what could be smiles. But I'm never sure of the smiles. But this morning, I experienced Ian's first social smiles. He was clearly responding to seeing and hearing me. And later in the morning, it became obvious to me that he was making eye contact with me and tracking my head as I moved it from side to side. Amazing.

Thoughts on Infertility

I am unbelievably lucky. Even though I had to use IVF to have my son Ian, I didn't waste too much time trying naturally and I was able to get pregnant on the first round with a single embryo transfer. I cannot compare my experience to the infertility suffered by my sister. Nor can I even begin to imagine the pain and devastating losses about which so many infertile women blog. But one thing that I read recently on a blog rings true: once infertile, it's hard to leave those thoughts behind. I can't believe it, but I am still bothered by pregnant bellies (and this is only 6 weeks after having my own very pregnant belly!). I am already thinking about the "next round" so that Ian can have a sibling who is fairly close in age to him. I continue to read blogs about IVF and cross my fingers for all the other women out there to experience the success that I had. I worry that the next round won't go nearly as well as my first round. You would think I could just be happy and enjoy my son. And I sure do. I'm elated and ecstatic that Ian made it into my life. But it's extraordinarily hard not to be greedy and I want more. I'm already thinking about making an appointment with my RE just to discuss the next steps. I need to understand whether I can do the next round while continuing to breastfeed Ian. I'm guessing because of the necessary hormone treatments, I will have to stop breastfeeding my son, in which case I will wait at least 6 months because I certainly don't want to short-change him. And I need to understand how soon after a C-section it is safe to be pregnant again. I wish I could just focus on the present and on my ever-changing amazing son, but I can't. I'm still infertile.

4+ Hours of Uninterrupted Sleep!

I have a GOOD baby. God, he is just good. About 1 week ago, when Ian was just over 5 weeks old, I decided that it was time for him to sleep in his own room (instead of in the bassinet portion of a Pack N'Play in our master bedroom). The first couple of nights were a little rocky. He didn't sleep in his crib for very long periods of time and either wanted back into our bedroom or simply wanted to be placed in his bouncy seat instead of flat on his back in a crib. Here I sit, one week later, and Ian is sleeping GREAT in his own crib.

Ian has also been stretching out the time in between his feeds. During the day, he is still wanting to feed every 2.5 to 3 hours. But lately, we are getting a 5 hour stretch between 7 pm and midnight. I would have preferred the 5 hour stretch to be from midnight to 5 am, but I'm still happy about any 5 hour stretch. In addition, Ian takes only very short feeds in the middle of the night. Instead of the 18-20 minutes that he feeds during the day, his nighttime feeds are only 7-10 minutes. He also isn't urinating/pooping as much during the night, which is great.

Last night, Ian was awake more than usual after his 7 pm feeding. And it seemed like he wanted to feed again around 10 pm. So I fed him for 10 minutes and he fell asleep. I crossed my fingers and hoped that this would mean that he would sleep past his usual midnight feed...and he did! I went to bed around 10:30 pm and he didn't wake me up crying until 3:00 am! I was so happy! I haven't gotten that much uninterrupted sleep since he was born and I know that many people with 6 week old babies do not get that kind of sleep. I feel incredibly lucky that we have Ian, such a GOOD baby!

Ian has also been making a lot of cooing noises, which are new this week. He has what we call "Happy Baby" periods where he is just wide awake and well...happy. He coos a lot, tries to look at us and does seem to be interacting with us more. We still aren't seeing consistent smiles and in general, the smiles we do see don't seem to be reactions to our faces, but man, he's cute! I look forward to seeing a true social smile.

Growing like a Weed!

Ian and I went to mommy group again today. This time, we actually prepared to go and so I showered, dried my hair, put on some makeup and put just a little bit of thought into my clothing. I also put Ian in one of his cuter outfits. The nurse at the group brings a scale every week and so I was very curious to see how much weight this little boy gained in 1 week. Well, at 5 weeks old, he came in at a whopping 11 pounds, 5 ounces, which means he gained 9 ounces in 1 week. I'm really thankful and happy that he is thriving on my breast milk, but man, he is HUGE! He is one of the youngest babies in the group and despite that, he outweighs almost all of them! And the one baby that he doesn't outweigh has a mother who is 5'8" and a father who is 6'3"! I'm really not sure how me and my hubby produced this guy! I'm 5'5" and my husband is almost 5'10". I weighed only 5 pounds, 12 ounces at birth and my husband, while bigger, was 7.5 pounds at birth. People keep telling me that weight/height can change dramatically, but for now, I'm considering Ian a very big baby!

I decided to try feeding Ian from a bottle when we all went out to lunch today. I had planned ahead and brought a Dr. Brown's bottle full of 4+ ounces of breast milk. Ian took it like a champ! He took 2 ounces pretty quickly, slept for 30 minutes, and then finished off the bottle. Although Ian had taken bottles from my husband before, this was my first time feeding with a bottle. It was nice! I was actually able to hold him with my left arm and hold the bottle with my left hand and still eat my own lunch with my right hand. But I plan on only using bottles when I'm out and about with Ian. I'd still rather him go to my breast when we're at home. I'm also very proud that I'm still exclusively breastfeeding Ian. He has never had formula. All the other mothers have switched to pure formula or a mix of breast milk and formula. Some of them do it out of convenience. Others do it because their milk supply is drying up. As someone who already has 100 ounces of breast milk frozen (I just counted twenty 5 oz bags in my freezer), I will continue to breast feed him. And for all the luxury that I had using a bottle to feed Ian at lunch, I came home just as my left breast started soaking the shirt that I was wearing. Luckily, Ian woke up from his nap and fed..otherwise it would have been another pumping session!

First Smiles?

Last night, I was tickling Ian when he was sitting in his bouncy seat and he looked at me and smiled three times. I think they were real smiles and not gas, but it's so hard to tell and I haven't been able to reproduce the smiles. He's almost 5 weeks old and so it's not inconceivable that they were real smiles. Part of me doesn't want him to grow any bigger, but part of me can't WAIT for him to interact with us.

We've been doing tummy time with Ian. He is holding his head up pretty nicely, although not for very long each time. We limit the amount of time he is on his tummy and turn him over when he starts fussing/crying (which makes tummy time last only 3-4 minutes).

I think the baby is starting to understand the difference between night and day. We've started keeping him unswaddled during the day and only swaddle him at night, which may help. But his feed cycles are every 3 or 3+ hours during the night and during the day, they tend to be shorter...more like 2.5 hours. Luckily, he seems to be getting over his gas issues. I stopped giving him the mylicon drops earlier this week and he doesn't seem to be missing them. I cut milk out of my diet about 4 days ago (although I didn't cut out dairy because I kept eating cheese and yogurt) and I'm going to reintroduce milk and see if it makes any difference in his fussiness/gas. There hasn't been any uncontrollable crying for at least 3-4 days now. I also ate spicy Indian food last night and Ian seems completely unaffected even 24 hours later. Now, his crying seems to be limited to the times when he is hungry, wanting attention or needing his diaper changed. What a good baby!