15 Week Weight

Ian weighed in at 14 pounds, 15 ounces today at mommy group for a 4 ounce gain this week.

Guilt

Guilt. I feel it. When I first had Ian, I couldn't imagine going back to work. Just the thought brought me to tears (although damn, I was hormonal for a while!). And for roughly the first 2 months, I was extraordinarily happy staying home, feeding the baby, napping when he napped, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. I took great pleasure in the simplest of tasks (which is not a new thing for me). And I was extremely thankful to have a long break from a demanding job. But then boredom started creeping in. HGTV was no longer that interesting. I was starting to see repeats of the medical shows on the Discovery channel. I finished reading books about early child development and infant sleep habits. The novelty of taking an infant to the grocery store was wearing off. It's hard to schlep bags full of milk and cat litter and a baby in a car seat up the stairs!

And now I actively want to go back to work and feel guilty about it. From a financial standpoint, I knew that I would always go back to work. I make more money than my husband and we have to pay our mortgage and buy lots of diapers! But I guess I thought I would be really torn up about the decision to go back to work. I am crossing my fingers that Ian thrives in day care (and of course I feel guilty that we're putting him in day care and not getting a nanny and I'll feel even *more* guilty the first time he catches some awful virus in day care). It doesn't help at all that my mom stayed at home with us and my sister and sister-in-law are currently stay-at-home moms. My parents have also stated at least a few times that they think at least one parent should be home with a child. But I have to live my own life in the way that works best for me and my family.

I'm all alone with the baby this weekend. My husband is biking from Quincy, MA to Provincetown, MA (150 miles!) to help raise money for MS. I knew this weekend was coming and even gave my husband the go ahead to sign up for the ride when I was pregnant. But now it's here and I'm bored and lonely. And I had to do the 5 am feed, which is usually my husband's job. It's really not *that* bad. I'm lucky that Ian is such a GREAT baby. We took a 90 minute nap this morning and then took a long run/walk in the jogging stroller. And finally, we went grocery shopping. But I've been watching the minutes tick by. I look forward to seeing my husband again tomorrow night!

14 week weigh-in

At 14 weeks, Ian weighed 14 pounds, 11 ounces. He is a darn big boy. I struggle now to get up from the floor when holding him!

Rolling Over from Back to Tummy!

Holy cow. I totally didn't see this one coming. Ian rolled over from his back to his belly this afternoon (at 3 months, 3 days). And he even got his hand out from underneath him and propped himself up and started playing on his tummy. Amazing. I still haven't been able to video record him rolling over from his belly to his back and now I have yet another move to try and capture!

Ian has been crazy fussy lately and he's pulling on his ears a lot. Based on other mothers' reports and what I have read, I assume that this is a symptom of teething. But it doesn't necessarily mean I will see teeth real soon. (I just asked my mom when I first teethed and she said that I didn't have my first tooth until 7 months. I wonder if my husband teethed sooner.) Anyway, just to make sure he wasn't sick, I took Ian's temperature. It was 99.7 and 99.9 (I took it twice because I wanted to make sure I did it correctly). I'm pretty sure that these temps are in the range of normal for a baby, so I guess Ian isn't sick. I also took his temperature right after giving him a warm bath and so that may have elevated the temps a bit. I will double check again tonight.

My guess is that he's probably just fussy because he's really over-tired. He doesn't nap well and he didn't sleep all that well last night either. I was out of bed twice to feed him and two different times to soothe him after he woke up crying. Sigh. At least we both took a 90 minute nap early this afternoon and he's sleeping in his swing now. Hopefully he'll wake up a happier baby.

3 month update

Ian was 3 months old on Tuesday. He weighed 14 pounds, 4 ounces at mommy group. We all wanted to make gifts for Fathers Day and so we ended up inking footprints. Ian's feet are so adorable!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. I try to spend moments each day just looking at my baby son. I want to take it all in so that I can remember these moments when he's an adult, but it doesn't seem to stick. Here are some 3 month pictures to help me remember:

Ian is still rolling over from his tummy to his back, but not very often and I haven't managed to capture it on video yet and his daddy hasn't seen him do it either. He's too sleepy/hungry in the morning to try and by the time daddy comes home from work at night, he is too tired. But I'm sure he'll make his daddy proud soon enough. :-)

Ian has been a bit fussy lately. He's also drooling a lot and pulling on his ears. These are signs of teething, but I doubt we'll see any little teeth any time soon. He starting to move to a sleeping schedule that requires only one feed per night. He'll generally go to bed around 8:30 pm and then wake up at 2ish for that nighttime feed. And then he'll sleep until about 5:15 am. So I'm pretty happy with the direction our nighttime pattern is taking. But I'm hoping that he will stop crying out in his sleep after he goes to bed. Last night we had to soothe him at 9:30 pm and 10:30 pm. We didn't even use the pacifier. We just went into his room and ssshed him and patted his belly. And it's not that big a deal because we're not in bed yet, but I'm wondering what's causing him to cry out like that. I hope it stops soon. If anyone is reading my blog, do you have any thoughts on what could cause Ian to cry out like that in his sleep?

Rolling Over from Tummy to Back!!

Ian rolled over for the first time this afternoon, just one day shy of 3 months. I had just changed his diaper and he seemed content and so I decided to put him on his play mat for some tummy time. I put him down and as I was standing up to his left side, he looked up at me and boom, he was over and on his back. I was surprised and excited but wondered if maybe I had put him down a bit on his side. Prior to today, he hadn't shown any signs that he was even close to rolling over. And so I rolled him back over onto his tummy and made sure he was on his tummy. And sure enough, 1 minute later, he rolled over onto his back! So it's a real milestone! I couldn't get Ian to repeat it for a third time. He got frustrated and tired with tummy time after awhile. And I couldn't get him to do it tonight when daddy got home. He was just too tired. But I'm hoping my husband will see him roll over soon enough! Maybe tomorrow morning...

First Trip and Visit from the Grandparents

On Saturday, May 30, we attended my cousin's wedding in New York. Luckily, I was able to fit into a dress that I already had and I didn't need to shop for a new dress. Although I still need to lose 4-5 pounds, most of my dresses didn't fit because my boobs are way bigger now that I'm nursing. I am still fairly self-conscious about my body so I went ahead and bought some Spanx and they did the trick to flatten out my tummy.



It was the first trip we took with Ian and it was a lot of fun. He did great in the car on the way to New York and slept the entire 3 hours. At the wedding, I left Ian with the babysitter, but brought him out during the cocktail hour where he was a big hit. :-) We enjoyed the rest of our evening and I checked in with the babysitter frequently.

On Sunday, we went to New Fairfield, CT, where I grew up. I really wanted to show my husband the house in which I spent my childhood. We wandered around the property and as we were about the leave, the owner of the house saw us and invited us in for a tour. So that was pretty cool. She had already given the tour once to my brother and his kids and was happy to do it again for me. A lot of the house was the same as it was when I lived there (including the brown/mirrored upstairs bathroom), but the new owner renovated the kitchen and the master bedroom. Here are some pictures of the outside of the house:

We drove back on Sunday afternoon and we had to stop once to feed Ian and change his poopie diaper. But I would call it a very successful trip!

Since then, we have gone to two mommy groups. Last Tuesday, Ian weighed 13 pounds, 6 ounces and today, at 12 weeks, he weighed 14 pounds. I love my big boy! He's a very happy child (although I wish he napped better and slept through the night)!

Today we broke out the Bumbo seat and Ian loved it. I'm so glad I remembered to take it out of the closet.

My parents have been visiting since we went to the wedding and have really enjoyed spending time with the baby. He is flashing his gummy grin everywhere and really babbling now. My mother spent lots of time with the baby while my father, once again, did lots of projects. He has really improved our house. He dug out the grass along the side and back of the house and made mulch beds. And we went to Home Depot and picked out a bunch of plants and he planted them. The outside of the house looks so great now. And he also did a lot of work in the basement. It's now pretty much done down there! My father is going to spend his last day here sanding and painting the molding that he installed today. The next very big project is converting the unfinished storage room downstairs into a finished guest room. Once we have a second child, my parents will be staying in this guest room and so my dad has a vested interest in getting it done and making it pretty.

Hemangioma

Ian has developed a little hemangioma on the back of his head. It wasn't there at birth, but it showed up later and has been growing fairly steadily. My college friend, who is a dermatologist, happened to see it and alerted me to the fact that sometimes these hemangiomas, when in the midline on the head, can connect to the brain. Not good. So at Ian's 2 month visit with his pediatrician, I mentioned the hemangioma. The doctor said that he has never seen one connect to the brain, but wanted to ask a dermatologist about it. The dermatologist recommended that Ian get an MRI to make sure that the hemangioma did not connect to the brain. So this morning, we went to Children's Hospital in Waltham so that Ian could have an MRI. We had to be there at 6:45 am, but it was good that we had to be there very early because Ian wasn't allowed to have any food before the scan. The nurses there were very nice and were able to get the IV into Ian without too much trouble. Ian, of course, screamed his little head off, but those IV needles hurt! They sedated Ian through the IV and the scan then took 1 hour. It took a long time for Ian to wake up after the scan. The nurses really wanted him to be awake for the car ride home to ensure that his airway didn't get obstructed by a drooping head in the car seat. But he was just sooo sleepy and we finally convinced the nurses to let us go home. Ian was incredibly sleepy/calm all day. He never cried for food and so I just fed him every 2 to 2.5 hours. We didn't see his precious smile until around 7 pm, when it seemed like he was finally himself again.

*Update*
We got the news that Ian's hemangioma is only on the surface and does not connect to his brain. We are very relieved. Apparently the hemangioma will grow more for the next one to two years and then go away on its own. Good news!