Ian Speaks - 21+ months

Ian's speech has really taken off and he talks ALL the time now.  It's FANTASTIC.  I find it so much easier to take care of him now because we are really communicating.  He can say "Ian momma lap" instead of just pulling my arm and whining.  And he gives me a big smiley "Hi momma!" in the morning when he wakes up.  He's also repeating everything we say now including things like "poop everywhere" and so we're going to have to watch our swears around him now.  Here's a short video that I put together that showcases some of his new words.  My favorite is "Bye Bye Momma Purple Toe" which is his first 4-word sentence."  Enjoy!

Cancun - Review and Pictures

It's hard traveling with an almost 2-year old, but overall, we had a really good time in Cancun.  We stayed at the Now Jade Riviera Cancun Resort & Spa in Puerto Morelos, Mexico.  It is an all-inclusive resort and it was nice not to have to carry around a wallet (although the staff definitely appreciated tips).   I would give the resort 4 out of 5 stars.  I really only have 4 complaints:  (1) The temperature in the shower fluctuated so badly that bathing was pure misery.  It went from freezing cold to scalding hot in just a couple of seconds.  (2)  The service at the restaurants was extremely slow, which isn't so great when having to entertain a toddler.  Thus, we often chose to eat at the buffet.  (3)  The cleaning crew never came when we asked them to come and a couple of times we were left with no clean towels or we had to wait 30 minutes in the hallway while they finished cleaning at a very inconvenient time.  (4)  The pools were absolutely frigid.  They don't heat the pools there (apparently because it never gets all that cold there).  But Ian needed his little wetsuit to enjoy himself without turning blue and shivering and almost no adults went into the pool.

The positive were many:  (1)  Our room totally rocked.  We had an ocean view that was stunning and a huge jacuzzi on an outdoor balcony overlooking the ocean.  (2)  We booked a preferred suite, which allowed us to put Ian down for naps or bedtime and still enjoy ourselves on the other side of the suite or the balcony.  (3)  There was really no noise in the hotel.  I don't know what they did for sound insulation, but I couldn't even hear my extremely loud brother-in-law or nephews in the adjoining room.  I went to bed at night listening to the ocean waves crash against the beach.  (4)  Everyone working at the resort was extraordinarily friendly, pleasant and helpful.  (5)  The beach had lounge chairs under huts and so we could relax outside while getting some shade.  (6)  Despite the fact that we had to eat at the buffet often, the food was pretty darn good.  Breakfast was my favorite meal.  (7)  We had a bidet in our room.  'Nuff said.  (8)  It didn't seem very crowded and we never had to wait in line at the bar to get a drink.

With took over 400 pictures on our trip.  Here are the few that I think capture our trip nicely.

The ocean view from our balcony

Sunrise at 6:15 am

Daddy and Ian in the Jacuzzi on our balcony

Beach Fun

Mommy and Ian

Hoopie and Ian Preparing for a Wave

Basketball is a very serious event

The boy who HAD to carry two basketballs

Pool fun

Happy Pool Boy

The boy who stole a Japanese girl's Hello Kitty Float

Daddy and Ian Braving the Frigid Pool

Pool Toss

Wheeee!

Ian, The Truck Book and the Ocean

Dinner on our Last Night

Airplanes and Trucks!  A Happy Boy.

Cancun

We've now been in Cancun for 3 full days and we're having a blast.  Ian is a fearless little kid.  He ran into the ocean the first day, got knocked over by a wave and came up sputtering, but laughing.  He's having fun digging in the sand with his grandpa and getting to know all of his older cousins.  Right before vacation, I bought Ian a little book called "My first truck book".  We use it at every meal so that he'll sit still for longer and it works like a charm.  He LOVES that book and will read it over and over and over.  He recognizes the snow plow ("no plow!"), the tractor and fire truck.  

My parents are extremely impressed that Ian knows all of his letters.  He loves being quizzed and is so proud of himself when he says the correct letter.  His vocabulary and speech are getting better and better.  He actually said "Elmo" a couple of times so far instead of "Melmo."  And he's putting more and more words together.  He spoke his first 4 word sentence on this trip:  "Bye-bye Mama purple toe."  I'm not sure why he said "Bye-bye" but he was commenting on the fact that I have purple polish on my toe nails.  

I'm looking forward to the next 3 days of this vacation.  It's great fun to spend time with my family.  The all inclusive resort we're staying at is very nice.  We have an amazing room overlooking the ocean.  And we paid extra to have a suite so that we didn't have to tip-toe and whisper around Ian during naptime or after he went to bed at night.  And the weather has been fantastic - sunny and about 80 degrees every day.  I wish I felt a bit better physically - my feet and lower back are aching - but it's all good.  I'm happy to have made it to 19 weeks and I feel Shortie very low in my belly every day.

Fetal Survey - 18+ weeks

We had our fetal survey this past Wednesday at 18 weeks, 3 days.  While we were waiting for the doctor to come in, the baby was moving around quite a bit and so my husband put his hand on my belly.  I thought it was too early for him to feel her, but then she gave a whopper of a kick and he felt her!  Pretty cool.  The baby measured right on track and the ultrasound doctor didn't see anything amiss.  He spent a while trying to get the right angle to see all 4 chambers of the heart and was really digging into me with the ultrasound sensor.  My belly was all red and splotchy afterwards.  But eventually he was able to see everything.  And he confirmed that yes, we are having a girl.  Here is a profile picture:

The other good news is that the subchorionic hematoma that caused me to bleed at 15 weeks was gone (or at least it was no longer big enough to be picked up by ultrasound).  So hopefully, I will not have any more bleeding over the next 20 weeks.  This appointment also confirmed that I have a low lying placenta, but when my OB reviewed the ultrasound results, she said that the placenta was not covering the cervical opening.  So it's very likely that it will continue to move away from the cervix as the baby grows and my uterus expands.  I am no longer under any restrictions and can lift Ian when I want to now.  Hooray!

And with all of that good news, I am excited to be leaving for Cancun, Mexico tomorrow! I took yesterday and today as vacation days in order to shop, organize and pack.  Since we're traveling internationally, I wanted to be prepared for all contingencies.  So I have immodium for me and pedialyte/probiotics for Ian.  We are bringing books, paper/crayons, Sesame Street videos and other toys to keep Ian occupied on the plane.  And I think I might have packed enough snacks to feed a toddler army.  But I want to make sure we have enough snacks to keep Ian happy on the return flight too!  I can't wait to play with Ian in the pool and ocean.  Hooray!!!

A Break

I think I may take a break from or entirely stop reading infertility blogs. It seems that so many women are looking for support but then they say "don't bother with platitudes" or "please don't tell me it only takes one". Or they regale us with stories of this or that insensitive-but-trying-to-be-helpful comment. I don't know what to say anymore or what is the right or wrong thing to say, to the point that I feel nervous talking to my real life friend who is most likely going to miscarry. I'm not worried about hurting anyone's feelings here because these are the same women who proclaim that they cannot handle reading pregnancy blogs. So they're clearly not reading my blog.  Fine. It is entirely their right to decide what to read or not to read. I guess it's just getting under my skin.  It seems incredibly selfish to me.  I read a lot of blogs as saying, "Thank you for all of your support while YOU were trying to get knocked up, but now that you are knocked up, screw you and your offers of support, which are never right."  What also upsets me is that not all pregnancies are full of fun and joy.  When I bled at 6 weeks and 15 weeks, I was really scared.  There was a lot of bright red blood pouring out of me.  But the infertile community offered me no support (other than you Baby Baker!!).

I have a kid and another one on the way. Perhaps it's just time to remove myself entirely from the infertile blogging community.

Feeling Sad

All is well in my world, but I'm feeling extraordinarily sad for a friend I know IRL.  I first met this woman when we attended the same childbirth education course.  And then I re-met her and we became friends in a mommy group after we both had our babies and were on maternity leave.  And now our sons are in the same class at daycare and are best buds.  She has been trying to get pregnant with her second child for over 1 year now.  She got pregnant after trying for 4 months, but quickly miscarried after her BFP.  And she just canceled an appointment with a fertility doctor (actually the same one I used) because she was finally pregnant again!  But she called me in a panic earlier this week because she had some colored discharge.  I tried to reassure her that she was okay as long as she wasn't experiencing bright red bleeding and she wasn't having pain or cramping.  And she felt better.  But then she went for an ultrasound the next day and although she should have been 6+ weeks, they only saw an empty gestational sac measuring at 5 weeks.  And while her beta on December 1 was 7,000, her beta on December 7 was only 16,000.  That is not doubling in 48 hours.  That's not even doubling in 72 hours.  So her doctors are telling her that she's in a gray area, but personally, I think they're giving her false hope.  I think this pregnancy is doomed and I am so so so unbelievably sad for her. 

And after reading so many blogs where women complain about all of the awfully insensitive things people say, including platitudes, I'm totally nervous about saying the wrong thing to her.  I want to comfort her and be as good a friend as I can be, but I don't know what to say.  And to make it worse, her husband had to leave this morning on a business trip.  I invited her and her son to our house for dinner, but she politely declined, saying she'd prefer to lay low at home.  Ugh.  I just wish the outcome was going to be different.  It's so unfair and it's going to be SO miserable for her because so many of the women in the original mommy group are now pregnant with baby #2.  I guess I'll just keep offering her an ear if she wants to talk and I will NOT talk about my pregnancy or baby names or anything insensitive like that.  Does anyone who has been through a miscarriage have any suggestions on how I can better help her?

*Update - December 10*

My friend's beta was only 19,000 yesterday.  So it only went from 16,000 to 19,000 in 48 hours.  Her doctor sent her an email with the news and didn't even call her!  That would have made me SO angry.  But they're stringing her along and told her that she should schedule an ultrasound for next Tuesday.  I'm guessing that ultrasound isn't going to reveal much in the way of good news.

Happy Hanukkah!

Happy Hanukkah!  We have been lighting the candles for Hanukkah, but think that Ian (20+ months) is still too young to receive presents.  We have SO many hand-me-down toys from my sister and it would be kind of ridiculous to buy more.

But we had a really fun evening last night at a friend's Hanukkah party and Ian had a BLAST.  It's amazing how independent and fearless he is.  He didn't care that there were people in the room that he had never met.  He brought a book right over to a 6'6" man and asked this stranger to read the book.  Stranger anxiety?  That concept has never even entered Ian's life.  He loved all the attention and adult interaction.

Here are some of the good pictures.  Enjoy!

Just Breathe

I had my regularly scheduled visit with my OB/GYN today.  We talked about the small (3.4 x .6 x 3.6 cm) subchorionic hematoma that is sitting behind my placenta.  She told me that I shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting or vigorous exercise (especially not bouncy exercise) and should avoid sex for a while (ha!  like I was having sex anyway!)  She said something like, "Well, I would only worry if one of my bleeding patients told me that she was traveling to South America..." And I said, "Ummm...I'm supposed to go to Mexico in 3 weeks."  And she said, "Oh." 

But we discussed it at length and we both agreed at the end of the discussion that I should go on this trip.  Obviously, if I start bleeding again in the next 3 weeks, we'll reassess the situation.  But I have to live my life.  She also said that while it would be awful to have something go wrong on vacation, even the best medical care couldn't save the baby at 18-19 weeks.  And while I want to have as healthy a pregnancy as possible, I like the logic of that.  Even if I canceled my trip and had all of the best Boston hospitals at my fingertips, they could do nothing to save this baby if I went into pre-term labor.  So I'm going to cross my fingers and go!  As my OB/GYN recommended, I should "Just Breathe" and take it step-by-step.

I am also going to have my fetal survey (hooray for another detailed ultrasound) on December 15 and so that will also give us some more information prior to my trip.  Hopefully, that scan will show that the hematoma is not any bigger.  We'll also need to see if my low-lying placenta has moved up at all.

Overall, it was a good appointment and I was, as always, very happy to hear the baby's heart beating away at 153 bpm.  16 weeks and counting!