Thursday, May 30, 2013

Turning the Corner

I don't want to jinx myself.  But in the last 2 weeks, Ian has changed from a tantrumming, screaming, hard-to-manage child to a well-behaved child who shares with his sister (mostly) and entertains himself with his Thomas Trains or Batman toys.  I don't know whether he just figured out the "correct" behavior or just reached a magic age (4 years, 2 months) where the tantrums stopped.  Or maybe it's because we implemented the 1-2-3 Magic parenting program by Dr. Thomas Phelan (which our pediatrician recommended after my cry out for parenting help).

I love the 1-2-3 program.  According to the book I read, we had been doing everything wrong with Ian.  We were over-explaining and over-lecturing and trying to use logic to get him to behave correctly.  But he is not a little adult (despite his smart and mature conversational ability).  He is a 4 year old child.  So instead of yelling and screaming at (and sometimes, spanking) Ian, we now just calmly give him a 1 count when he is doing something that we've asked him to stop doing.  If he continues with the bad behavior, he gets a 2 count.  Upon reaching a 3 count, he ends up locked in his room (because he refuses to stay in time-out willingly).  After 3 days of having to lock him in his room, we haven't had to reach "3" at all.  He gets it.  He does NOT want to be locked in his room.  It has been an amazing transformation for us.  I have always loved my son but now I actually enjoy spending time with him.

Of course, just as Ian is getting a bit easier to handle, Sammy is starting to exhibit her terrible twos.  It's manageable (and kind of funny actually), but hopefully it won't be a long-lasting phase.  Luckily, she doesn't tantrum.  But she is pretty whiny and demanding.  She's still using a binkie, but as of now, she only uses it when she's in her crib for a nap or at nighttime.  That's progress, since we used to give it to her when she asked for it as she got tired at night.

As my high school biology teacher used to say, "We're getting there, folks!"

1 comment:

Ana said...

Found your blog from Stumbling Gratefully...this post gives me so much hope. I have a 3.5 year old and we are in the THICK of this nonsense. I've had to lock him in his room, too, because he lashes out physically and hurts me (or worse, little bro) and I'm worried I'll automatically react physically. I've read several books ("your 3 year old, friend or enemy" "how to talk...") but haven't tried 1-2-3 magic yet. Will order it. I'm really tired and I hate that I dread when he wakes up in the morning because EVERY LAST THING is a struggle and may set off a 30 minute screaming/hitting fit.