3dp3dt

I'm totally not feeling it.  I mean, it know it's early - only 3dp3dt or 6dpo, but yeah, not feeling it.  I have no symptoms and I have been feeling myself up quite frequently.  My husband gets a kick out of watching me press on my boobs every now and then.  They don't hurt at all.  Then again, they are just different she-beasts than they were pre-Ian and so maybe things will be different with #2.  Who knows.  I just won't be shocked and won't even cry when I get that BFN.  The only "symptoms" that I have (other than numb/sore ass from the PIO shots) are heart palpitations.  But I had those when I went off birth control too.  I'm not crampy at all this time around, like I was with FET #1.  Oh well.  There is a tiny glimmer of hope buried deep, but it's pretty darn tiny.

Yesterday, I had my semi-annual depression day.  I know this sounds really odd.  But roughly twice a year, I get depressed for 24 hours.  For anyone who knows me IRL, I'm totally not a depressed person.  I don't even trend that way at all.  But for some reason, I woke up feeling "off".  I had almost no energy and felt like I just couldn't care about anything.  This had absolutely nothing to do with infertility or feeling like FET #2 failed.  It just happens.  It's so odd and I can't come up with any explanation.  But it was over when I woke up this morning and I'm happy to be back to my energetic and happy self.

FET #2 Transfer Successful!

Our transfer was tentatively scheduled for 11 am this morning.  I got the go/no go call this morning at 8:40 am and it was a go!  So I knew that at least one of our embryos survived the thaw.  But they asked if we could come early, for a 10:40 am transfer.  No problem!  I've had problems in the past having an overly full bladder and so I didn't drink too much before we left and I drank nothing during our 20 minute car ride.  When we arrived at 9:40 am, I took the valium and started drinking just a little bit (but not too much because I knew we had another hour before the transfer).  Around 10:10 am they asked how I was doing and I told them that my bladder was starting to feel full.  They said "Good!" because the woman who was scheduled to have a transfer before me didn't have a full bladder and they wanted to switch me with her.  So off we went and although I wasn't sure that my bladder was full enough, it was apparently PERFECT.  Yeah!  I guess the 3rd time is the charm (since I had an overly full bladder for my IVF and FET #1).

They ended up needing to thaw only one of our two frozen embryos.  Just like FET #1, the embryo thawed perfectly and lost no cells.  So this morning, we transferred one 6-celled day 3 embryo.  It was graded as a 6AF, which is the same grade of embryo that produced our son Ian.  For details on what this embryo grading means, read towards the bottom of this earlier post.

And now I'm just relaxing on the couch, watching baby stories on TLC.  :-)  The valium makes me very sleepy and sluggish.  I told my husband that he's officially on call with our son for the next 3 days.  I'm going to try very hard not to pick him up or carry him around.  He's over 26 pounds now!  I'm super happy that everything seemed to go well.  The embryo thawed perfectly and the transfer went smoothly.  I'm hopeful, but I'm going to try very hard not to get my hopes up too much.  After all, the embryo thawed well and the transfer went smoothly for FET #1 and that resulted in a BFN.  And now, I just have to pass the time during the dreaded 2ww (although I'm probably going to POAS in 8 days, which would be 11 dpo).

Ian Speaks - 17.5 months

I hope you enjoy this video!  I definitely enjoyed filming, editing and learning more about how to use iMovie.

Ian Update - 17.5 months

Ian is 17.5 months old now and I wanted to provide an update on his development.  I think he is super smart, but this should be tempered by the fact that (a) I'm his mother and (b) I have no other experience with little ones for comparison purposes.  So what is he up to these days?

His vocabulary is growing and growing.  He now knows where his head, nose, eyes, mouth, ears, feet and toes are and can point to them when we ask him to do so.

He LOVES books and will bring us books and sit in our laps on the floor while we read to him.  He especially loves Elmo and has been getting more and more into the Sesame Street characters.  He points out Big Bird (buh bur) and gets really excited to see The Count (he says "Noooooooo!" but means "The Count").  When he says and means "no" for real, it's said with more of a whine/growl and much less happy excitement.

If he's in a sweet (and undistracted mood), he will give me a hug when I ask for it.  It melts my heart.  He puts his head down on my shoulder and squeezes ever so gently.

He has learned to look at books the right way (i.e., not upside down) and will turn the book around when it is upside down.

He has a shoe addiction and loves to point to shoes (doos!) and bring mommy her shoes and daddy his shoes.

He always wants to carry his own lunch bag out the door in the morning.  And when I try to take it away from him so that I can more easily strap him into the car seat, he freaks.  So I've been doing a dance every morning trying to get him into the car seat while he holds his lunch bag.  He will only give up the lunch bag to the teacher at daycare (and not to his mommy).

He says thank you when you give him something he wants (although he says "dit doo").

He is still unbelievably amazing about going to sleep at night.  We put him down anytime between 7:15 and 7:30 pm and he grabs his lovey, rolls over and goes right to bed without any fuss.  He has been waking up later and later each morning, which is very nice for us (although it is making me get to work later and later).  Today, he just woke up at 7 am, which is why I was able to do this post!

My transfer for FET #2 is tomorrow.  Hopefully it will result in baby #2 who will be just as awesome as Ian.

Happy ICLW!

Thanks for stopping by!  My infertility story is fairly simple.  My husband suffers from poor sperm morphology and we immediately qualified as IVF/ICSI candidates in 2008.  We're lucky to live in Massachusetts, which has mandatory IVF coverage.  Since we felt strongly about not having multiples, and since we didn't have to pay for IVF out of our own pockets, we chose to do a single day 3 embryo transfer after our first round of IVF and it worked!!!  We were able to freeze 3 additional embryos from that IVF round and have since embarked on a journey to have a second child.  FET #1 this past June resulted in a BFN and the transfer for FET #2 is scheduled for this coming Thursday.  I am hopeful that FET #2 will work, but understand that we got super lucky with our IVF and that the statistics are not pulling in our favor.  I am writing this blog to memorialize my experiences (good and bad) and help me remember all of the amazing things about raising my child.  I read blogs to lend support to others who have not been as fortunate as me and to remind me every single day of how lucky I am.  Good luck girls!!

Final Countdown for FET #2

I had my date with dildo cam this morning.  My ovaries are suppressed (there were only lots of tiny follies) and my lining looked good - it was roughly 8.5 mm.  I just got the call from the doctor with the results of my blood work and everything looks perfect and on track for a transfer this coming Thursday.  My estrogen was 533.  And the good news is that my OWN doctor will be working on Thursday and will be doing my transfer.  Yeah!  I hope that brings us good luck.

Okay. So maybe everyone isn't infertile.

As a follow-up to this post, not everyone who has to do IVF is infertile.  My eyes were opened a little after chatting with the contracts manager with whom I work closely.  I basically blurted out that my son is an IVF baby.  That opened the door for him to tell me his story.  As it turns out, he and his wife are NOT infertile.  They are choosing to do IVF so that they can genetically screen embryos and only choose those that are not positive for a dominant gene that causes retinoblastoma (cancer of the retina).  The contract manager's wife had retinoblastoma as a young child (as did her own mother) and both she and her mother lost an eye to this disease.  They are choosing to do IVF because the only other way to guarantee that they don't have a child with retinoblastoma is to get pregnant naturally, do CVS or amniocentesis testing and then abort if the child does have the dominant gene.  I don't know many who would be able to go through that.  But on their first IVF, they had bad luck.  Out of 7 embryos tested, six had the cancer gene and she did not get pregnant with the one good embryo.  (As it turns out, she never miscarried.  She just was super duper upset that she didn't get pregnant with the good embryo).  They just finished their second IVF cycle and are waiting to hear back on the genetic testing.  I'm really hoping that their luck turns and that they are successful with this cycle.